Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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