I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
