I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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