what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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