What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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