it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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