i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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