How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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