So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
