Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."