The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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