and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.