My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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