Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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