I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize