I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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