You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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