we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
