I CAN MOONWALK!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
