please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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