Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
