I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
