how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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