just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
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SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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