I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
