I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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