its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
