$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
