i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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