saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
