took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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