I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize