dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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