Christians are straight up FREAKS
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
