You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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