I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
