I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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