New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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