There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
