Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Say something about gay babies.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
