ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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