i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
