Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.