is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.