i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just had sex bonerless
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.