id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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