I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
