they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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