I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
