He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
