she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
