all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
