sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
