Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
