Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
