i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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