i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it glows. i had to have it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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