It's a beautiful day for a hangover
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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