He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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