He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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