I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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