I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
