Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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