Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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