ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm both gender and math confused
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