i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
