you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
